Here’s a video of some Standford kids going by the moniker Monzy doing a pseudo (sudo?) rap to a Unix administrator’s ace in the hole: kill -9. It’s pretty dorky, but in a geeky way, and thus funny; at least to me. It’s Nerdcore Hip Hop at its best. MP3 download and Lyrics after the jump.
mp3:
Kill Dash Nine http://graphics.stanford.edu/~monzy/KillDashNine.mp3
Lyrics:
Kill dash nine
I guess I’ll have to shut you down for good this time, Already tried a SIGQUIT, so now it’s KILL DASH 9. You gotta learn when it’s time for your thread to yield; It shoulda slept; instead you stepped and now your fate is sealed. I’ll take your process off the run queue without even asking ‘Cause my flow is like reentrant and preemptive multitasking. Your sad rhymes are spinnin’ like you’re in a deadlock, You’re like a synchronous sock that don’t know when to block; So I pull out my keyboard and I pull out my glock, And I dismount your girl and I mount /proc And I’ve got your fuckin pid and the bottom line Is that you best not front or else it’s KILL DASH NINE.
KILL DASH NINE, No more CPU time. I run KILL DASH NINE, And your process is mine. I run KILL DASH NINE, ‘Cause it’s MY time to shine So don’t step outta line or else it’s KILL DASH NINE!
See it ain’t about the Benjamins or Pentiums or Athlons, But you rappin’ 50 meters while I’m spittin’ in decathlons. Your shit’s old and busted, mine’s the new hotness; You’re like CLR and I’m like CLRS. You’re running csh and my shell is bash, You’re the tertiary storage; I’m the L1 cache. I’m a web crawling spider; you an Internet mosquito; You thought the 7-layer model referred to a burrito. You’re a dialup connection; I’m a gigabit LAN. I last a mythical man-month; you a one-minute man. It’s like I’m running Thunderbird and you’re still stuck with Pine, Which is why I think it’s time for me to KILL DASH NINE.
Yeah it’s KILL DASH NINE No more CPU time. ‘Cause it’s KILL DASH NINE, And your process is mine. I said KILL DASH NINE ‘Cause it’s my time to shine, So don’t step outta line or else it’s KILL DASH NINE!
My posse throws down like leaky bucket regulators; I was coding shit in MIPS while you were playing Space Invaders. With my finger on the trigger I run ./configure Yo, this package is big, but MY package is bigger. I roll my weed with Zig Zag while I zag-zig splay, And I do a bounds check before I write to an array. I’m a loc’d out baller writing KLOCS a day, ‘Cause it’s publish or perish, fool, what can I say? I’m 26 now, will I live to see 28? Some days I wonder if I’ll survive to graduate. But hey, that’s just fine, I won’t ever resign, And if fools try to step then it’s KILL DASH NINE!
Yeah it’s KILL DASH NINE, From my command line It’s KILL DASH NINE Sending chills down your spine, I said KILL DASH NINE, ‘Cause it’s my time to shine, So don’t step outta line or else it’s KILL DASH NINE!
fs sa rlidwka I’ll chown your home and take your access away Comin’ straight outta Stanford, ain’t nobody tougher, Control-X, Control-C, I’ll discard your fuckin’ buffer. You’re outside your scope, son, close them curly brackets, ‘Cause I drop punk-ass bitches like a modem drops packets. Dump your motherfucking core, and trace your stack ‘Cause where your ass is going, there won’t be no callback. See my style is divine and my code is sublime, My career’s in a climb and yours is in a decline. I’ll write a pound-define and assign you as mine, So refine those sad rhymes or remove your plus signs,
Or it’s KILL DASH NINE, No more CPU time, ‘Cause it’s KILL DASH NINE, And your process is mine, I said KILL DASH NINE ‘Cause it’s my time to shine, Bitch you stepped outta line and now it’s KILL DASH NINE!
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Typedef Jam Records 2006